Posts Tagged ‘Pope’

The storm brewing around the leaked government memo suggesting the Pope should bring out his own range of condoms and stay the night in a Bradford council flat has provided me with quite a deal of amusement.

You can just imagine Pope condoms, I wonder if they’d be shaped like his little hat? Can you imagine him getting into a life in a high rise tower block and standing next to a smack head?

“Third floor please love…”

” ‘ere! aint you the pope?”

What gets me is how completely unable to take a joke Catholics are. The Vatican is kicking off which is rich given the sort of things they’ve been engaging in recently.

In the Telegraph I read the best quote ever. A ‘senior’ source at the Catholic church in the UK said

“This does beg the question of how seriously this visit is being taken by the Government.
“All of our dealings with this Foreign Office team have suggested they don’t have any understanding of Catholicism and that’s how this issue seems to have come about.
“Why did they even have this brainstorming session in the first place? The Pope’s itinerary was decided a long time ago, so it’s not as if there was much room for extra events to be laid on.”

Who in their right mind would take this visit as serious?! The Pope will come, parade around waving at everybody like he’s royalty in his plastic car and whilst doing so cause madness and mayhem, divert traffic and cost money. He’s a Homo sapiens not a God and he’s only in his position because he was picked by the church, not because he’s somehow extra special.

I think the Foreign Office are more than fully understanding of the fact that the Pope is an abomination who has overseen and covered up countless abuses, even if they can’t say that publicly.

This is a prime example of the religious saying ‘because I take this way too fuckin’ seriously you must too’.

The whole thing is a joke, and let’s face it Catholics are pretty joke worthy material aren’t they! Catholics get over yourselves.


The words ‘Catholic Church’ are now, to many, synonymous with ‘scandal’, ‘whitewash’, ‘cover up’ and ‘immoral’. This week’s letter from the Pope to the Irish church highlights his continued short sightedness.

Catholics are among some of the most intolerant of all religious groups. Their stance on issues like homosexuality, abortion and contraception has always been steadfast. Behave in such a licentious way as to be attracted to someone of the same sex and you’re heading for an eternity in hell. Have sex for any reason other than to procreate and God, apparently, frowns upon you. Suffer a horrible rape and bear a child and to abort the pregnancy is abominable.

When compared with the unquestioning forgiveness granted to paedophile priests the church’s unwavering position on the above issues is nothing short of hypocritical.

At the heart of this issue of abuse is the very structure of the Catholic Church. The church is like a powerful nation, a nation which is governed by a dictator. The dictator answers to nobody on this planet, he is the ultimate authority and believes he is only accountable to god. As god exists only in his mind, the dictator has absolute control. Underneath the dictator are a host of officials granted the job of running local affairs. They are forced to abstain from normal sexual relations, suppress their natural sexual desires, and then allowed unlimited contact with children. This nation has a set of laws which were drafted up thousands of years ago at a time when everyone thought the Earth was the centre of everything and the most important place in existence. These laws are not subject to any form of social evolution. They are the same as they were when they were written, they cannot, and will not be changed. It matters not what we learn about the workings of the planet; it matters not that we now understand quite well how homo sapiens work and think; it matters not that the world has recognised it’s need to relegate certain things to history. None of these things matter, the law is what it is and it will remain so.

At the heart of this dictatorship is a small group of powerful people who consider their job to be the absolute protection of the international community’s opinion of their nation. They will stop at nothing to ensure they don’t get bad press and to ensure they are viewed as a friendly nation. Their agents operate secretly and swiftly to silence those who may damage their reputation.

Is it any wonder then, that a group as powerful as the Catholic Church continues to be involved in such horrific scandals? How can they possibly keep up with the rest of the world when they continue to live in the dark ages? Are they completely blind to the consequences of suppressing sexuality, making it a taboo subject, and forcing their officials to pretend they don’t have desires? And how can they route out the problem causers when they believe that merely offering a word of regret and repentance up to the sky fairy will fix their perverted desires?

We know all too well how those that are capable of abusing children are very rarely ‘rehabilitated’. Left freely they often go on to re-abuse. They have a serious malfunction in their conscience that either enables them to ignore it, or worse, leads them to believe they’re doing nothing wrong in the first place. The enlightened among us know that a priest is no different from the rest of the human race. We know that such perverts need more than sending on a ‘retreat’ by their Bishop.

In normal civilised society most of us could not readily forgive a child abuser. Not so the church. They repeatedly allowed the sick bastards back into service because they’d been ‘fixed’ by god.

What is needed here is a mass cull of clergy. Every single person who has been implicated in this scandal needs to be totally stripped of all their duties. Every person who has aided and abetted these criminals should be shown the door. This included those bishops who helped cover it all up; “I did it because my boss told me to” is not a valid defence. My moral compass would stop me from being able to do it, so the church who, after all, think they are the pillar of morality, should have known better.

The Pope’s pitiful letter to the church this week shows us he is no better than those in Ireland. We’ve already found out he himself failed to report sexual abuse when it was brought to his attention. He helped cover up the same sort of crimes whilst in Germany. The church may be trying their hardest to distance Benedict from responsibility but it does not watch.

For the Pope to stand any chance of fixing this issue his letter should have clearly pointed out the need to sack the guilty. It should have outlined a procedure for instantly suspending anybody suspected, whilst being investigated. Sure, people are ‘innocent until proven guilty’, but when kids are involved it should be a case of ‘not allowed near children until proven innocent’. This concept is one the church appear to have a problem with. Benedict outlined in the letter his ideas for fixing this crisis. His solution: to use Lent as an opportunity to do lots of praying, and to use Fridays for the next year to do more praying. Oh, and to do a tour of Ireland. This, apparently will:

“…lead to a rebirth of the Church in Ireland in the fullness of God’s own truth, for it is the truth that sets us free.”

The Pope is completely blind to the fact that he himself is part of the very problem.

Sister Marie-Simon-Pierre

In 2007 Sister Marie-Simon-Pierre was at the end of her tether. She’d been suffering from Parkinson’s Disease for years and in a final attempt at securing a supernatural recovery she got all her cronies to pray to the late John Paul II. Hoping he would intervene from on high her fellow nuns cried out to the former Pope. This, not surprisingly, did sweet FA. ‘Not to fear!’ she thought, ‘I’ll write my name on a piece of paper that oughta do it!’ (I just made that last bit up. For the record, she’s French). I’m not sure what she thought the piece of paper would do. Maybe she could slip it in his pigeon hole for when he had a minute? So you can imagine her conclusion the following day when she apparently woke up cured! It must be the Pope, it just must be!

What followed was a concerted effort by her fellow loonies to get the Pope elevated to a Saint. The minimum requirement for which is to have performed a miracle. A little bit strange then that we have so many saints, as none of them have performed a single miracle! Anyway, it was looking good for John Paul as the medical staff were unable to explain her sudden recovery. The Vatican had even sent their men in black to investigate whether it was a genuine miracle.

Now she’s back in hospital and Ill again and it’s looking very likely that she’s got a similar disease to Parkinson’s but which goes into sudden remission.

It’s so funny how much money the Vatican spend on all this. It’s even funnier how these crazy mofos will believe anything, including that some old bloke who rode around in a plastic car has cured them from beyond the grave. I think she’s now back in hospital, although, if you ask me, it’s the wrong sort of hospital …

Every so often the Pope emerges from his hidden world of luxury in the Vatican and makes a carefully constructed statement. His usual aim is to upset and anger as many of the ‘heathen’ world as possible with comments that are more often than not absolutely vile.

Once again he speaks.

This September the wannabe god plans to make an official visit to the UK where he will no doubt continue to bless us with his nonsensical rubbish. His latest self appointed mission is to convince us that by introducing equality laws that stop the Catholic church from discriminating against homosexual people, and anybody else who’s lifestyle choices they don’t agree with, we are in fact breaching the human rights of the religious.

Pope Benedict, in a letter to English and Welsh bishops claimed our equality laws place “Limitations on the freedom of religious communities to act in accordance with their beliefs”. He goes on to urge the Church to fight against the laws with “missionary zeal”.

The Pope is correct in his insistence that the religious should be free to practice their religion. Regardless of how delusional their beliefs, a society in which people are forced to believe a certain thing can only be a bad thing. It is an internationally agreed basic human right that we should be afforded the freedom to practice any religion. But it is also a basic human right that we have freedom of thought and freedom to choose to disregard religion, or be gay, or have a sex change.

Alongside these rights is the right to not be discriminated against in the application of your human rights. This right trumps all other rights. By attempting to use their right to religious freedom to be allowed to discriminate against certain groups of people it is in fact the church who are breaching rights. It cannot be just accepted that you can do whatever you want as long as it is your religious belief. The right to not be discriminated against was made to protect people from the evils of the religious idiots. Not for them to perversely and grossly distort in order to achieve their own agenda.

Unfortunately we have to listen to this rubbish. It is the downside of free speech. What we should not do is support it. Which is why it is appalling that the taxpayer is funding the Pope’s coming trip. At an estimated cost of £25million we’re picking up the bill for the insane old guy to parade around in his bulletproof car and wave at his sheep.

If he wants to come we can’t stop him. But he lives surrounded by gold statues, has millions donated to him, and has more than enough money. Why aren’t the Vatican or his sheep paying? Hopefully there’ll be a Susanna Maiolo lurking in the shadows to take him down a peg or two…